Traumedy Central with Hanala - E!: READ and BE IMPRESSED, BE VERY IMPRESSED (I WAS)

Who am I ? Someone wrote this: SHE’S AN INSPIRATION TO BABY BOOMERS EVERYWHERE. HANALA STADNER’S MESSAGE TO HER CELEBRITY CLIENTS AND THE REST OF US: YOU CAN BE FABULOUS AT 50 – REGARDLESS OF YOUR PAST.

One of Los Angeles’ toughest group-fitness instructors, author, actress, artist , substance-abuse counselor, and host of her own TV show, Hanala Stadner hopes her dysfunction-to-diva life story will inspire others facing circumstances seemingly beyond their control. Hanala tours nationally, and has been the keynote speaker at The Los Angeles Holocaust Museum, Florida Holocaust Museum, Baltimore Jewish Museum, Colleges, Temples, Churches, Bookstores, Drug Rehabs, Corporations and Fund Raisers. As a Fun-Raiser she is informative, inspiring audiences toward healthier self-esteem and happier relationships.

According to her critically acclaimed memoir, My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt, Hanala was not always so fabulous. Growing up [in Montreal] with severely traumatized Holocaust Survivors as parents manifested into years of debilitating guilt, insecurity and panic attacks that restricted her life. Hanala sought refuge in drugs, alcohol and men all the while battling serious eating disorders. As a member of The National Association of Alcohol & Drug Abuse Counselors, Hanala has provided clinical and private counseling for well-known entertainment figures.

After a lifetime of clinical depression and self-destructive behavior, Hanala sought help through 12-Step Programs, psychotherapy, and fitness, resulting in rock-hard thighs and a desire to help others. Now 25 years sober, she Hanala is a popular L.A, spin instructor, TV personality, writer, motivational speaker and is regularly called on to share her transformative story with her trademark wit and wisdom. She currently writes the Humor column for ValleyLife Magazine.

She combines her experience and unique brand of humor with psychotherapy, the 12-Steps, and common sense. Hanala tours nationally, and has been the keynote speaker at Museums, Colleges, Temples, Churches, Bookstores, Drug Rehabs, Corporations and Fund Raisers

THE BOOK: Amazon.com > Bestsellers in Books #1 in Yiddish Books My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt by S. Hanala Stadner (18 customer amazon reviews – 5 stars)

Endorsement by Renee Firestone, Auschwitz Survivor, featured in Steven Spielberg’s Oscar Winning “The Last Days”

“As a Holocaust survivor, I am saddened (aware) that the effects of our experiences during the Holocaust often created less than perfect parents. However, Hanala managed to survive her own growing up with humor and compassion, not only for her parents, but for her own circumstances. Her gift for storytelling draws you into her world and grips you there for a wild ride.

Canadian Jewish Tribune Rick Kadonne, staff reporter “Children of Holocaust survivors have, for the most part, endured specific psychological anxieties which are only now being recognized. Hanala Stadner has written probably the most definitively poignant book identifying these anxieties from her own personal experiences . . . All of the often ingenious doodle illustrations are by [Hanala], and they add much to the book’s total tragicomic impact.”

Library Journal Review STARRED REVIEW! Jennifer Zarr, NYPL

"I didn’t go through the Holocaust, the Holocaust went through me" is just one of the memorable lines that Stadner offers up in this well written, entirely heartfelt autobiography.

Stadner contends that her struggles as a young adult-which involved drug addiction, eating disorders, doomed relationships, and agoraphobia, to name a few issues—stemmed from being raised by parents “too traumatized to have children.” She was abused and neglected and continually reminded that no matter how bad she felt, her parents had it much, much worse. Television was a constant source of inspiration and solace during her childhood, which prompted her to move from Canada to Los Angeles in her early twenties to pursue an acting career.

Through it all, Stadner’s sense of humor clearly survived intact. The book breezes along at a fast pace, with the standout sections dealing with Stadner’s harrowing drug addiction and eventual recovery; as the story progresses, what shines is her insightful wit, comparable to that of Tama Janowitz or A.M. Homes. Her honesty (which includes discussing numerous sexual entanglements) and willingness to be vulnerable makes her a very sympathetic character . . . Recommended for all public libraries, especially those serving Jewish communities . . .”

”This is an OUTSTANDING book!” Reviewer: S. J. Yake “samuelyake”

This book strikes an amazing balance between humor (it is incredibly funny) and uncomfortable truth. Example: On page 267, the author and her mother are talking about those two trapped whales from 10 years ago—“’Hanala, look at dis! To save two vales, da whole world comes. But to save six million Jews, nobody came.’ I put down my danish. ‘Sure Ma. The world likes whales.’” That is a truly sad but incredibly insightful comment. I think the author has a fantastic sense of humor, and I think she should have her own national TV show; I know I’d watch!

The Boca Raton News February 18th, 2008 Diane Feen, staff reporter “HANALA STADNER – A PROFILE IN COURAGE”

HANALA STADNER KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMEDY AND TRAGEDY. SHE SHOULD, SHE’S SEEN THEM UP CLOSE. STADNER KNOWS HOW TO MIX ANGST WITH AGONY AND COME UP WITH PRETTY HILARIOUS TALES. IT’S ALL IN HER BOOK, “MY PARENTS WENT THROUGH THE HOLOCAUST AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT.” THE BOOK, LIKE STADNER, IS AS UNCONVENTIONAL AS YOU CAN GET, WITH A WIT THAT IS WICKEDLY ENGAGING.

Stadner was asked to be the guest speaker by Next Generations (an organization of children and grandchildren of Holocaust Survivors) and Hillel of Broward and Palm Beach County. She came to tell her story – one that is unique and sad, yet exhilarating and triumphant, at Lynn University.

Hanala Stadner calls her book, and her life– a traumedy. Fitting name when you consider her mom said to her, “Hitler killed my whole family, but I should live to have a daughter like you, you can’t even make da bed?” Stadner told us: “When I said, ‘Ma, the girls in school don’t like me,’ my mother said ‘You think they liked me in Poland?’”

It didn’t take long for little Hanala to internalize her parents’ pain, and the result was an adult with an alcohol, food and drug addiction. She ballooned to 160 pounds, got into self-destructive relationships, and finally hit rock bottom. Sometimes the shock of hitting bottom makes people bounce back even higher. And that’s what happened to Stadner.

“I always wanted to do something important with my life, but I didn’t have the self-esteem to accomplish it. Eventually the solution became the problem – I had a successful career as an alcoholic.” After falling into a Christmas tree at a party, Stadner was invited to an AA meeting. It was through 12-step meetings and her job as a spinning instructor that allowed Stadner to salvage her life. “I like AA. There are no dues or fees… you laugh, cry, go oooo….you’re empowered to get out and drench yourself in life rather than booze,” she said.

“I’m better now. All it took was a million dollars worth of therapy and some realizations.” In the chapter “Good things now come in AA Meetings, not baggies,” Stadner realizes her husband of two years was bald and wore a weave. It was a rude awakening. “I wondered—what else didn’t I know— that’s when I decided I better stay sober.” Stadner went to the gym, taught spinning class, hosted a cable access TV show called, “The Suzan Stadner Show.” “I put everything I learned in therapy into the book. The book was 800 pages, then I took out the blame. And commas. And added the drawings,” she said. Stadner successfully turns tragedy into comedy. It’s her insights – brilliantly mixed in with temporary insanity – that engages readers. “I couldn’t put it down. It’s profound and at the same time hysterically funny. I laughed out loud at the chapter titles alone,” said Jess Walton, EMMY award-winning actress. Stadner also had other admirers – “I tape her TV shows… Stadner is mesmerizing, hypnotic…she draws me in and I go along for the ride,” said Marlon Brando. Brando promised to write the foreword for her book. “Too bad he died,” she laments.

The self-transformed writer, actress, comedienne, media darling (she’s been on CNN, CBS Early Show, Dateline, Showbiz Tonight, to name a few) is in a healthy (three-year) relationship, “I found the greatest guy. He’s not Jewish but he makes great pasta and carries the luggage, I call him Shirpala.” They’re currently working on movie deals. If pleasure and pain are opposite sides of the same coin, then Stadner is a quick-change artist.

At Lynn U that night, she made us laugh and she allowed us to marvel at the strength of the human spirit (hers specifically – “I’m not a survivor, I’m a thriver,” she said). For that the audience applauded her.

reviews:

Hanala – A Diminutive Name for a Major Talent, February 7, 2008 Steven J. Glueck (North Miami Beach, Florida)

The title grabs you – humor? Holocaust? Then, you begin reading and Hanala grabs you- envelops you, fastens your seat belt for you and takes you on the ride that is her life. And what a ride.

For the general public, it is a story, written with wit, humor, turns of phrase, expressions which you know you have heard before and are comfortable with but which are neither trite nor cliché, in a style that holds your attention. It is the history of a little girl clamoring for something which is impossible to receive due to no fault of her own, a “normal” childhood, filled with love, affection, nurturing, complements, structure, safety, sibling support, reliable friends, – just like in the 50s and 60s TV families into which she delves for comfort; who, not surprisingly grows into a young adult with physical addictions and emotional insecurities – making bad choices, entering into troubled relationships and behaving in a self-destructive manner bringing her near death; and finally, just as you have almost had it with her and want to read her the riot act, but knowing that nothing you say could bring her out of her messed-up life, she surprises you and takes a small step which becomes a deep reach into herself and pulls herself out of the spiral – building inner strength and finally maturing into the positive, healthy person you would be thrilled to have in your life.

Hanala lays open her soul to the core, describes behaviors and experiences that most would be embarrassed and ashamed to admit, and demonstrates that we have the ability to heal ourselves, with the help of others, if we only give ourselves the chance. You laugh, you laugh a lot, and you cry, you find yourself repeating statements out loud that you have just read which may well hit deep in your own soul. Frankly, you don’t want the book to end and when it does, you are OK, because you know that Hanala’s story is continuing and because it is a real life that you feel connected to.

And, for the readership which is made up of the children of Holocaust survivors/escapees, it is an even more special story. Hanala, through her experiences, and her insights gained through therapy, A.A. and Al-Anon programs, gives us answers as to why her parents, and so many other such parents just could not do a better parenting job – whether due to their guilt for not being able to save family or friends or for the simple fact that they survived, magnified by the relative comfort in which they are living; why they too were and are leading lives that are not filled with what many would consider “normal” actions and reactions – which behaviors many have unintentionally passed on to their children. “It is not because she won’t, it is because she just can’t.” For Holocaust survivor/escapees’ children, Hanala provides answers to questions we might not even know how to ask.

“A STAR IS BORN”    Reviewer: Malka Eisenberg, Psychotherapist

”My Parents Went…” is one of the most poignant books I have read on this topic. I too am a child of survivors and as all second generation children was greatly affected by the tragedy that befell my family, in particular, and the Jewish people as a whole. All my life I have devoured every book written by survivors, by their children and by historians. Never has someone presented this topic in the manner Ms. Stadner has. Her astute observations, her facility as a raconteur, her psychological insight, and her brilliant sense of humour is masterful. My heart is filled with empathy and compassion for the suffering she endured. My mind is filled with admiration and respect for the struggles she overcame. She is indeed a survivor.

“MY PARENTS WENT …” Reviewer: Jeffrey Rosenberg

As a child of Holocaust survivors, I have read almost every book and publication that there is to read on the subject in addition to every movie made about the Holocaust. “My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt” was THE book that hit deepest into my gut. I could personally relate to the insanity growing up and the amount of humor it took to get through it. I highly recommend this book, not only to children of Holocaust survivors, but to anyone that appreciates a book portraying a very unique Hanala with a range of emotions that goes off the scale on all sides.

”Historical and Hysterical”, Reviewer: Jody Cohan

Don’t let the title of this book offend you, or scare you away. Once you read My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt, it will make perfect sense. The book is historical AND hysterical—in both senses of the word. One moment you are laughing out loud, the next bent over as if you had just been punched in the stomach. Hanala’s storytelling is powerful and poignant, and her plays on words and command of language are truly entertaining.

”A Heart Full Of Funny And Sad” Reviewer: K. Breckenridge

I have read “My Parents Went Through the Holocaust...” twice now. I had to read it the second time just to savour the clever plays on words and situations. An example: Hanala calls her story a “traumedy,” which to me is perfectly descriptive of this book, trauma seen through a comedic lens. Also, I found wisdom in her stories, never preachy but coming through as a strong subtext. I really liked this book.

“Funny & Insightful . . . and over too quickly” Reviewer: Alfred Lloyd Gaspar This is one of those books replete with things that will stick with you. So much of it has the ‘ring of truth’ described in a magical way that captures exactly the thoughts you’ve had so many times before, but which weren’t quite clear until Hanala picked the words you’ve been looking for. You’ll chuckle throughout—unless you’re laughing hysterically. Fun, original and somehow so familiar. You’ll know yourself better with every read.

From One Survivor to Another, March 4, 2008 Sarah Johnson (Hallandale Beach, Florida)

“Hanala, I just finished your book I loved it so much that I just didn’t want it to end. I related to just about everything you went through… Thank you so much for writing this book. I must confess that I laughed and cried but the last 100 pages of your book brought back so many memories…”

Dear Hanala, “…I have gotten all my ‘greena’ 2nd gen friends to read this – if your sales are up, it’s because I have been talking non stop about this book.”

“…today I went to my therapist and read sections of the book aloud to him. (I have never done that before). I too had a black and white mother, with a sweet loving face, and then the crazy, mean side popped out - if only I could control her with my behavior. I am still struggling to allow myself to take care of ME, I am not as important, nor are my struggles… your book was simply lovely, poignant, funny, and sad.  Hitler really did a job on all of us, but hey, we got the last laugh, even if we are in pain. thanks so much …”

“…I just needed to tell you that your story is my story. I am sure you have heard that a million times. My mother is a survivor; holocaust and cancer, and I am 52 years of age. I relate to every story you have written so far. The feelings growing up were exactly the same. I wish you great success with your future endeavors. You are funny, talented, beautiful, and definitely a shayne punim.”

“…My sister, who is 19, gave your book to our Mom as a gift. My family is Orthodox, and the book was pretty risqué for her, but she cried, laughed and enjoyed it- she’ll probably email you herself! She passed it along to my Dad, and then to me, and I read it in one sitting. I just couldn’t believe that you knew exactly how we felt, how things work when your parents/grandparents are Survivors. Thank you for putting into words what so many people go through life thinking, unable to say aloud.” I was very moved because I am also the son of Holocaust Survivors and I identified with many of your feelings. (Of course the Yiddish was lots of fun too). If I could have met your parents, I would have loved a conversation with them. I felt good reading that you made something of your life and did not waste a “Yiddishe kop” and helped not only yourself but countless others. I wish you lots of success and happiness and thanks for writing this great book.”

”I loved your book and just finished it last night at 2:00 AM.

Subject: Finished your book in one day

”Thank you for this amazing, familiar, laugh-out-loud and cry-out-loud, story. I absolutely love how you use words, both English and Yiddish. I could REALLY RELATE!!! I was deeply touched by the loss of your Mother and also about your Dad’s state of mind at the end of the book. I think you really hit the nail on the head in your last chapter in the paragraph that starts “I see us all, as a big cosmic cocktail” YOU are an important point in this universe and YOU do count…just as each and every one of us does. YOU have really made a difference with this superbly written book (and in all that you have done for so many) and I thank you.”

“I feel fortunate to have come across your interview with Hannah Storm [CBS Early Show] this morning. I looked you up and found your website. I listened to your reading and loved it. You are a remarkable person and I congratulate you on your book and on your recovery. While I am not Jewish, I am in recovery myself and am also a lover of writing/reading. I teach developmental/remedial English at a local Technical College.  I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your life and your great sense of humor with us.”